VOX Box: Weird Worlds 1
Characters[]
Location[]
- Oblivion Bar
- November 17th 2016, 1752 Universal Time
VOX Archive[]
- [door opens, footsteps: 3 instances, loud footsteps]
- Stanley Dover: Wow. This is so not what I was expecting when you said we were going to the Devil's hangout.
- Tim Hunter: [footsteps] What were you expecting?
- Stanley Dover: Uh... [footsteps] I don't know. Fire? Brimstone? People screaming in agony. That sorta stuff.
- Zachary Zatara: There's a table right here. Let's grab it.
- [footsteps: 3 instances, loud footsteps, clattering: 4.3 seconds]
- Tim Hunter: What you were thinking about is Hell, Stanley.
- Stanley Dover: Wait, this isn't Hell? I thought you said-
- Zachary Zatara: [chuckle] We're going to where the Devil hangs out. Not where he used to hang out.
- Stanley Dover: But... He's the Devil... The Devil hangs out in Hell... What am I missing?
- Zachary Zatara: Come on, Cuz! You're embarrassing me! Your best friend is a demon, and you don't know that Lucifer left Hell like... uh... over thirty years ago?!
- Stanley Dover: [chuckle] Dude, I've been to Hell. The Devil's still totally there.
- Spot: Uh... No, he's not.
- Stanley Dover: What?
- Spot: What? He's not.
- Stanley Dover: Seriously? Who was the guy that had that sweet goatee and the trident then?
- Spot: In Hell?
- Stanley Dover: Yeah!
- Spot: I don't know who you're talking about... Unless... Are you talking about Hades?
- Stanley Dover: [fingers snap] Bingo! The God of the Dead! The King of Hell! The Devil! [hand slaps table] Yeah, hate to break it to you guys, but the devil still lives in Hell. I've actually met him... Nice guy.
- Spot: Uh... Stanley?
- Stanley Dover: Yeah, Spot?
- Spot: We met Hades when we went to the Underworld.
- Stanley Dover: Yeah... I know. That's what I was just saying. You okay, big guy? You got some fur in your ears?
- Tim Hunter: Should I tell him or do you want to?
- Zachary Zatara: Be my guest.
- Tim Hunter: Thank you. [throat clears] Stanley?
- Stanley Dover: Yes, Tim?
- Tim Hunter: The Underworld is different from Hell. They share some similarities, but they're different.
- Stanley Dover: Dude, I know. I've been to both places.
- Tim Hunter: Okay, then... did you know that Hades is not the Devil? Those are also two different persons.
- Stanley Dover: ...I... Oh, I see what I did there. [nervous chuckle] Yeah, okay, I'm mixing some adventures up. But I still totally know I met the Devil. [pause, sigh] I just can't remember where... Spot?
- Spot: I've met him. I don't remember you meeting him, though.
- Stanley Dover: No, I'm pretty sure I've met him.
- Zachary Zatara: Was it during a fiddle contest in Georgia perhaps?
- Stanley Dover: No, I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that. I play a pretty mean fiddle.
- Tim Hunter: Wait, you actually play the fiddle?
- Stanley Dover: Oh, heck yes, I do! [pause] Oh, excuse me... Is that kind of language okay in here?
- Zachary Zatara: Language? What kind of language? Wait-
- Tim Hunter: Do you think 'heck' is profanity?
- Stanley Dover: No! [scoff, chuckle] I just... You know? It's another word for "Hell" so I thought it might be offensive to call Hell something else when we're actually in Hell... you know?
- Tim Hunter: [sigh] Once again, Stanley... We're not in Hell!
- Scandal Savage: [shout:] Hey! Keep it down! Some of us are already hungover! Your yelling isn't helping!
- Zachary Zatara: Sorry. We'll keep it down.
- Stanley Dover: Hey wasn't that-?
- Zachary Zatara: Scandal Savage? Yeah.
- Tim Hunter: Scandal Savage? Wait, as in-?
- Zachary Zatara: Vandal Savage's daughter? Yeah. That's her.
- Stanley Dover: Oh, wow, so you going to go say something like "Tah dna taoc..." and uh... Whatever "wand" is backwards and beat her butt?
- Zachary Zatara: Uh... No. [pause] Though, she does have a nice butt from my angle here...
- Tim Hunter: [groan] Down, boy...
- Zachary Zatara: [scoff] As if you're one to talk. How many girlfriends do you currently have?
- Tim Hunter: That's not the point. What is the point is actually something we need Stanley to understand. Here at Oblivion Bar, there is to be no hostilities between patrons. The Devil has been very clear on that matter. You really need to understand that. It is very much rule number one.
- Stanley Dover: Wait, so even though there is a bad guy over there-
- Zachary Zatara: Eh, she's more of an anti-hero as of late, from what I hear.
- Stanley Dover: Great, but still, you're saying that if... I don't know, let's say Condiment King were over there-
- Tim Hunter: Who?
- Stanley Dover: Condiment King? Bad Guy. Meta-criminal. Super villain. Whatever the term is these days.
- Zachary Zatara: Why Condiment King?
- Stanley Dover: It was just hypothetical... It doesn't matter. My point is if he were over there having a drink, minding his own business, you couldn't just go slam his head on the counter and haul him in?
- Zachary Zatara: Do you have anger issues, Stanley?
- Stanley Dover: What? No...
- Tim Hunter: If he's minding his own business, why would you do that?
- Stanley Dover: I'm not doing it! It was hypothetical!
- Zachary Zatara: Yeah, okay... but... seems extreme. Also, of all the bad guys to ask about why Condiment King?
- Tim Hunter: Yeah, you didn't think of the Joker? Metallo? Circe? Hell, you didn't even think of Grodd?
- Zachary Zatara: Yeah, Condiment King seems like a weird one to gravitate toward on a whim...
- Stanley Dover: [sigh] Okay, so if Joker were over there you still couldn't- Wait... Isn't that Miss Garcia?
- Alba Garcia: [footsteps: 2 instances] Oh, hey, boys... [chuckle] What are you doing here?
- Zachary Zatara: We're just showing Stanley the place. He's never been here before.
- Stanley Dover: [sigh] Dude, I told you that I've been here before!
- Tim Hunter: [under-breath:] This isn't Hell...
- Zachary Zatara: So, uh, Miss Garcia... Who's your friend?
- Alba Garcia: Oh... him? [nervous chuckle] This is, uh, my, uh... very good friend, uh... [long pause]
- Gabriel: Gabe. [chuckle, pause] Yeah, so... how do you boys know, uh...?
- Alba Garcia: [whisper:] Alba...
Trivia and Notes[]
- Part of the Weird Worlds Storyline.
- Story continues from VOX Box: Weird Worlds Prelude.
- Story continues in VOX Box: Weird Worlds 2.
- Debut of Gabriel, Spot, Stanley Dover, Tim Hunter, Zachary Zatara, Scandal Savage, and Alba Garcia.
- Playing fiddle in Georgia is a reference to the song "Devil Went Down to Georgia".