VOX Box: Scott Pilgrim VS Todd Ingram
Characters[]
Location[]
- Maple Palace, Maple City, Canada
- May 13th 2016, 2127 Local Time
VOX Archive[]
- Todd Ingram: [--incredible bass solo--] ...
- Scott Pilgrim: [--steady bass solo--] ...
- Stephen Stills: This guy's good.
- Todd Ingram: [--incredible bass solo--] ... [eldritch thrum]
- Scott Pilgrim: [--steady bass solo--] ...
- Wallace Wells: Uh-oh...
- Stephen Stills: What?
- Stacey Pilgrim: Oh no, Scott...
- Todd Ingram: [--legendary bass solo--] ... [eldritch crackle]
- Scott Pilgrim: [--struggling bass solo--] ...
- Wallace Wells: You seeing this, Stacey?
- Stacey Pilgrim: This ain't going to end good for Scott.
- Stephen Stills: Wait, why is Todd glowing?
- Todd Ingram: [--epic bass solo--] ... [loud eldritch crackle]
- Scott Pilgrim: [--steady bass solo--] ... [groan]
- Wallace Wells: He promised Ramona he wasn't going to use his psychic powers!
- Stacey Pilgrim: Uh... I don't think those are psychic powers.
- Stephen Stills: What is it then?
- Todd Ingram: [--divine bass solo--] ... [thunderclap, lightning strike]
- Scott Pilgrim: !!! [jolt, body flying backward, skiddddd, bass guitar falling on floor, body hits wall, whomp, body slumps to floor, pained groan]
- Stacey Pilgrim: Magic!
- Wallace Wells: He has psychic powers and magic?!
- Stacey Pilgrim: Seems so.
- Scott Pilgrim: [groan] What was that?
- Todd Ingram: [chuckle, footsteps, eldritch crackle] That's right Pilgrim... Unlike you, I actually know how to play bass.
- Scott Pilgrim: [scoff, clamber] Look here [hand brushing shoulder] Chode Ingram, [spit blood spatter] I thought we agreed on no psychic powers!
- Todd Ingram: [scoff, eldritch crackle] That was alveromancy.
- Scott Pilgrim: Alf romancey?
- Todd Ingram: [scoff, eldritch crackle] Musical sorcery. Power chords with actual power! [--epic power chord--] [thunderclap, lightning strike]
- Scott Pilgrim: [zap, pained scream] !!!
- Todd Ingram: [--divine bass solo--] [blenggg, thunderclap, lightning strike, nnggggggggggg, thunderclap, lightning strike, kshmmmmmmmmm]
- Scott Pilgrim: [zap, pained scream] !!! [zap, pained scream] !!!
- Stephen Stills: We need to help him! [footsteps]
- Stacey Pilgrim: I'm with you! [footsteps]
- Wallace Wells: [rapid footsteps] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You can't! Stephen! Stacey! You got to stay out of this!
- Stephen Stills: Out of my way, Wallace!
- Stacey Pilgrim: That's my brother!
- Wallace Wells: Listen to me, you can't! If we offer actual help, as Scott's friends, we might break their deal or invalidate the whole challenge.
- Stephen Stills: So what?
- Wallace Wells: You would be putting Ramona's life in danger!
- Stacey Pilgrim: But Scott's going to die!
- Wallace Wells: Please, just trust me.
- Todd Ingram: [--divine bass solo--] ... [krowwwwwww, thunderclap, lightning strike]
- Scott Pilgrim: [zap, pained scream] !!!
- Audience Member: This reverb is hurting my soul...
- Audience Member: He's tossing this loser around like a used nappy!
- Audience Member: All hail Todd Ingram!
- Audience Member: Oh yeah! All hail the rock god!
- Audience Member: Yeah!
- Audience Member: Yeah!
- Raven Red: [footsteps, grapple] Hey man.
- Todd Ingram: [hand swatting hand] Hands off me, mortal.
- Raven Red: I think your floor show is getting out of hand.
- Todd Ingram: [eldritch thrum, whack] !!!
- Raven Red: !!! [body launched in the air, body hitting ceiling, body smacking to floor, pained groan]
- Todd Ingram: Stupid mortal! [stomp, eldritch thrum]
- Raven Red: !!! [pained groan, bones cracking, agonized scream]
- Todd Ingram: [chuckle, eldritch thrum, foot pressing down on ribcage] Give it up, douchebag.
- Scott Pilgrim: [stumbling footsteps, clatter, strap adjusting, clatter] Hey!
- Todd Ingram: ???
- Scott Pilgrim: ... [--bass beat from Ending Epic 2--] [D d D d D d D d D d D]
- Todd Ingram: [chuckle, footsteps] Sounds like someone wants to get... funky.
- Scott Pilgrim: Let's have some fun!
- Todd Ingram: Fun... in Maple City? [scoff]
- Scott Pilgrim: Leave the others out of this. This is between you and me!
- Todd Ingram: Fine. We'll handle this the old-fashioned way. [knuckles crack, footsteps]
- Scott Pilgrim: I... dislike you. [clatter] Capiche?
- Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
- Wallace Wells: ???
- Stephen Stills: ???
- Stacey Pilgrim: ???
- Scott Pilgrim: What?
- Todd Ingram: Because you'll be dust by Monday.
- Wallace Wells: ???
- Stephen Stills: ???
- Stacey Pilgrim: ???
- Scott Pilgrim: Um...
- Todd Ingram: Because I'll be pulverazing you in two seconds.
- Wallace Wells: ???
- Stephen Stills: ???
- Stacey Pilgrim: ???
- Scott Pilgrim: ???
- Todd Ingram: And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dusts.
- Wallace Wells: ???
- Stephen Stills: ???
- Stacey Pilgrim: ???
- Scott Pilgrim: ???
- Todd Ingram: She dusts!
- Wallace Wells: ???
- Stephen Stills: ???
- Stacey Pilgrim: ???
- Scott Pilgrim: Sorry, what's on Monday?
- Todd Ingram: Cause... [scoff] It's Friday now and she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?
- Envy Adams: [scoff, footsteps] What the hell are you talking about, Todd?
- Todd Ingram: Oh, there you are, baby.
- Scott Pilgrim: Envy, we're about to do this thing, can you, maybe, uh, stand aside?
- Envy Adams: Shut up, Pilgrim. I need to have a word with my man.
- Todd Ingram: What's up?
- Envy Adams: We made a vow, Todd! You promised me! [Odic crackle, kick]
- Todd Ingram: ?!?!?! [Odic thrums, psychic grapple]
- Envy Adams: [scoff] You cheating bastard! Release my leg!
- Todd Ingram: I won't fight you, Envy! [Odic thrums, psychic grapple releases]
- Envy Adams: [angry scoff, feet shuffling] That's not all you won't be doing! [scoff] God, you're such an asshole!
- Todd Ingram: C'mon, baby... She meant nothing to me. It was just about sex. You know my heart is for you alone.
- Envy Adams: Oh, Todd. [sniff, sob, feet shuffling]
- Todd Ingram: That's it... Come here. [bodies embracing, pat, pat] There, there... That's my girl.
- Envy Adams: Let's both be girls! [Odic crackle, kick]
- Todd Ingram: [wunk, pained hiss] Hrrgghhh!
- Audience Member: N-no way! She just kicked him in the nuts!
- Audience Member: Oh! That's gotta hurt!
- Todd Ingram: [loud hiss, Odic thrums] !!!
- Envy Adams: You deserved that... [pause, backward footsteps] Todd, you... Let's not do anything-
- Todd Ingram: !!! [Odic thrums, psychic bolt]
- Envy Adams: [zot] !!! [pained scream, fling, plok, slump]
- [silence: 10 seconds]
- Todd Ingram: [pant,pant, scoff] That's right, losers! I'm not afraid to hit a girl! [chuckle] I'm a rockstar!
- Scott Pilgrim: You bastard! [clatter, rapid footsteps, loud Odic crackle, bass swing, smack, kbwongg]
- Todd Ingram: [stumbling footsteps, pained growl] !!! [stumbling footsteps, clatter, pant, pant] Pilgrim! I'm going to kill you for that!
- Scott Pilgrim: You're the one who's about to, uh, push up daisies. You don't hit girls! [footsteps, wristbands adjusting, Odic crackles] They're...so... soft.
- Todd Ingram: You're soft! [chuckle, Odic thrums, body levitating off floor, Odic thrums]
- Scott Pilgrim: Wait... Todd... No psychic powers!
- Todd Ingram: To hell with the deal! [maniacal chuckle, Odic thrums, psychic grapple]
- Scott Pilgrim: [choking gasps] ...
- Todd Ingram: Know what else?! [Odic thrums] I'm not going to spare your life, either! [chuckle, Odic thrums] I'm going to enjoy watching your head burst!
- Scott Pilgrim: [weak Odic crackle, choking gasps, body levitating off floor, choking gasps, breathless shouts of pain] !!!
Trivia and Notes[]
- Part of the Scott Pilgrim VS Everything Storyline.
- Story continues from VOX Box: Ramona Flowers and the Dead End.
- Story continues in VOX Box: Scott Pilgrim and Karmic Comeuppance.
- This VOX Box was inspired by the graphic novel series Scott Pilgrim and its related media.