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VOX Box D is for Discerning Palate

VOX Box: D is for Discerning Palate

Characters

Location

  • Costa Perdida, Corto Maltese
  • October 21st 2016, 1452 Local Time

VOX Archive

  • Destruction: [scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, pause, scritch, scriiiiiitch, sigh] I'd? Buyed? Cried? Died? Hm... Dried? Eye'd? Fried? Hmm... fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh... [gasp] Aha! I have it! [chuckle, scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch] There! It's finished. Are you ready for this, Barnabas?
  • Barnabas: [sigh] As I'll ever be...
  • Destruction: [feet shuffling, groan] Ahem. [footsteps] I call this "Basilisk and Cockatrice: A Moral Poem".
  • Barnabas: ... here we go.
  • Destruction: I dreamed I saw a basilisk, That basked upon a rocky shore. I looked upon the basilisk. With eyes of stone, I looked no more. I dreamed I saw a cockatrice, a-chewing on a piece of bone. I gazed upon the cockatrice, but one cannot gaze with eyes of stone. To look upon a basilisk is really never worth the risk. To gaze upon a cockatrice is permanent and never nice. For it can never be denied life isn't pleasant, petrified.
  • Barnabas: Is that it?
  • Destruction: This is it indeed.
  • Barnabas: Ah... [sigh, paws shuffling] Well, at least it wasn't long...
  • Destruction: I take it you weren't overly impressed, then.
  • Barnabas: Doggerel. Rubbishly doggerel.
  • Destruction: [scoff] Really?
  • Barnabas: Really. You also overuse the word "never" inthe final stanza.
  • Destruction: Well, I guess you would know "dog-gerel", wouldn't you? Eh?
  • Barnabas: [sigh, groan] Spare me. [pawsteps] So, what remarkable fears going to accomplish today now that we got your need for useless creativity out of the way?
  • Destruction: [chuckle, footsteps, clatter] The ususal. I'm going to work more on my crafts. You're going to sit in the sun, scratch for fleas, romp about, eat and sleep. [chuckle, footsteps] Who knows, though, maybe you'll gaze up at me adoringly from time to time, my faithful hound.
  • Barnabas: Hmph... In your dreams. [pawsteps]
  • Destruction: I don't dream, though. [footsteps] A pitstop to my home would only risk giving away our position.
  • Barnabas: I don't see what you're so worried about. [pawsteps]
  • Destruction: No, you wouldn't, Barnabas. You never met my family.
  • Barnabas: [sigh, pawsteps] You ever think you're so [expletive] at these creative pursuits since you don't dream?
  • Destruction: My brother is not the source of inspiration. [footsteps, door opens] He may think he is, but it's not so.
  • Barnabas: [pawsteps, door closes, sniff] Wait, I smell food. Where'd this all come form?
  • Destruction: I went down to the village to get some provisions earlier.
  • Barnabas: Where was I?
  • Destruction: Scraping your butt across my floor.
  • Barnabas: Our floor, I think you meant to say... Oh, well, uh... did you get any salami?
  • Destruction: Possibly... [chuckle]
  • Barnabas: Any chocolate?
  • Destruction: Oh, I don't think so.
  • Barnabas: What did you get all that food for?
  • Destruction: Has it ever occured to you, dear Barnabas, that cooking is one of the fine arts?
  • Barnabas: Not that I recall, no...
  • Destruction: It is. One takes raw materials and one transforms them, by the simple application of a knife, some heat, some judicious mixing, into something miraculously different than the mere sum of its parts.
  • Barnabas: You've never cooked anything as long as I've known you.
  • Destruction: Haven't I?
  • Barnabas: Well, I wouldn't call it cooking... Wait, am I going to be forced to eat whatever the final product is?
  • Destruction: That depends on how it turns out.
  • Barnabas: This is another one of your ideas, isn't it? Like that thing you left in the garden?
  • Destruction: Thing? Thing?! Barnabas, that thing is a sculpture!
  • Barnabas: A sculpture? Of what? A big rock with holes in it?
  • Destruction: [chuckle, scoff, sigh, chuckle] I'll tell you what, Barnabas. The hammer and chisel are in the hall. There's another marble block in the shed. Why don't you do your won sculpture and I'll laugh at what you make? How's that sound? Sound like a nice change for a change? [chuckle]
  • Barnabas: Hmph... Leaving aside the issue of hands, I have no desire to ruin a perfectly good piece of marble. Dogs have more sense. We don't make fools of ourselves like you humans do.
  • Destruction: Of course you don't, but I'm not human...
  • Barnabas: Speaking of which, you know, there have been more crashings and bashings and bubblings from that back room of yours.
  • Destruction: I'm sure there have been. [sigh, footsteps, clatter] Now, what could I have been thinking? It appears I did buy some chocolate after all. How about that?
  • Barnabas: [gasp, rapid footsteps] Really?
  • Destruction: Yes... Okay, sit!
  • Barnabas: [clatter]
  • Destruction: Good! Now, beg!
  • Barnabas: [clatter, whimper]
  • Destruction: Here you go! [whoosh]
  • Barnabas: [clamber, snarf, chomp, chomp, pawsteps, gulp, pant] Mm... That's good chocolate. Hey, that was fun. Can we do that again? Please? [pawsteps, whimper] Come on. Please?
  • Destruction: No, maybe later. For now... [knife pulled from cutting block] Leave me to cook, Barnabas. A culinary artist needs five things. Good ingredients, a sharp knife, a little inspiration, a discerning palate, and a dog-free kitchen!
  • Barnabas: So what are you if you have one of those? [rapid footsteps] Hee! He-he-he-he-he-he!
  • Destruction: Barnabas... [chuckle, footsteps, clatter, chop, chop, chop]
  • Barnabas: [pawsteps, pant, pawsteps, clamber, door opens, pant, pawsteps, pawsteps, sigh, rapid pawsteps, yawn, scratch, yawn, thid, snore, elapsed time: 52 minutes, 27 seconds, snore yawn, scratch, scratch, pawsteps, sigh, yawn, sniff, sniff] Huh? [rapid pawsteps, clamber, rapid pawsteps, bark, bark, bark]
  • Delirium: [giggle, footsteps] oh, Hullo thEre, DOggY. [giggle, scratch, scratch] YoU'RE A VeRY Nice doGGY, aRen't yOu? yes, yEs, yOu aRe! [giggle, scratch, scratch, giggle] tHe cHERRY stONES SAy I'M GOinG to BE A KANgAROo WhEn i gROw Up... DID YOu kNOW thaT?
  • Barnabas: Hmm?
  • Delirium: Oh, sorRY, DoN't wORrY AboUT that. THAt'S iNsenSE To You, ISn'T It? i'm dEL, whaT'S yOUR NamE?
  • Destruction: [sigh] His name is Barnabas...
  • Delirium/Dream: [gasps: 2 instances]
  • Destruction: [long sigh] Well, come up here then, you two. Where I can see you properly...
  • Delirium: bROTher?! [giggle, rapid footsteps]
  • Destruction: Ah, let me look at you, lass. Pretty as ever you were... and yes, I do believe you've grown some.
  • Delirium: [giggle] yOu NotiCEd!
  • Destruction: And you, my brother...
  • Dream: [footsteps]
  • Destruction: You also seem different. Perhaps you too have grown?
  • Dream: It is not likely.
  • Destruction: No? Stranger things have happened. [pause, sigh, chuckle] Ah, well, let us retire inside. You two must have travelled a long way. You're probably rather hungry. [footsteps: 3 instances, pawsteps, door close] To be honest, I was expecting you to arrive a little earlier.
  • Dream: You were expecting us?
  • Destruction: I'm afraid so. Now, I am sure we have much to discuss... So, please, take a seat. I've made a dinner.
  • [footsteps, chair sliding, clatter, footsteps, chair sliding, clatter, footsteps, clatter, chair sliding, clatter]
  • Destruction: Please, eat! [awkward silence: 15 seconds, sigh] I expect you're wondering why I called you here...
  • Dream: You... called us here?
  • Destruction: [chuckle] Well, no... Not really. That was more in the way of a joke, I suppose... to set you at ease.

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