- Ace Chemicals - Rooftop, Gotham City, NJ
- April 1st 2012, 0007 Local Time
- Hellequin: [frantic footsteps: 2 instances] Mistah J, it's a dead end!
- Joker: I can see that, Harley! Give me some time to think this through... Hmm...
- Hellequin: [sniff] [weakly:] It's Helle, Mistah J...
- Joker: Speak up, dammit! You know I hate it when you mumble, Harley...
- Hellequin: [grapple] [loud:] Is this loud enough for you? Huh? Is it?! I'm Helle! [clatter scoff] That's Harley!
- Harley Quinn: Wow... [footsteps: 3 instances] Color me impressed. I like your style, kid.
- Hellequin: Thanks. Back at you, toots.
- Poison Ivy: Harley... Remember why we're here.
- Harley Quinn: [throat clears] Right... Step aside, girly. You're not my problem. He is.
- Hellequin: [scoff] I can't let you have my Puddin'...
- Harley Quinn: [scoff] Your Puddin'? Are you serious? [loudly:] He was mine long before you came along, honey!
- Poison Ivy: [sigh] Harley... You're over him. Remember?
- Harley Quinn: [scoff] Did you hear her, though? She said he was her Puddin'! Her Puddin'! [growl] The nerve!
- Catwoman: She can have him, though... Right? Think about it, Harley... He never did anything good for you.
- Joker: That's not true... Go on. Tell them Harley...
- Harley Quinn: I would, Mistah J... Cross my heart and all, but... gee, I'm havin' a helluva time thinkin' of one.
- Joker: [scoff] You insufferable ingrate! [footsteps, clatter]
- Poison Ivy: [footsteps, vegetation rapidly sprouts, gasp, clatter, thud] Uh-oh... You won't ever lay a hand on Harley ever again... You hear me?
- Joker: [scoff, tongue click] Ivy... What's gotten into you? Unhand... err... unvine me and cease this foolery.
- Poison Ivy: Harley, I'm bored of this. Care to say anything to your ex before I cast him over this railing?
- Harley Quinn: Uh... Well... Uh...
- Joker: Harley?! [chuckle] Come on now... Let's reasonable here... [vegetation shifting] [shout:] Harley!
- Harley Quinn: Yeah?
- Joker: [scoff] I'm not talking to you, ingrate! Harley! Grab a weed-whacker or something and help me out here!
- Harley Quinn: [scoff, footsteps] She's not Harley! I'm Harley! [scoff] You know what? [spit, splatter] Bon voyage!
- Poison Ivy: Happy April Fools' Day, Joker... [vegetation shifting, whoosh]
- Joker: [fading scream:] Harley! Don't just stand there! Help me! [distant splash]
- Catwoman: Uh... I think he was talking to you there.
- Hellequin: [scoff] Was he now? Hmm... Funny. I didn't hear my name. [sauntering footsteps] You gonna throw me over, too?
- Poison Ivy: Harley? What do you say??
- Harley Quinn: Eh... Let her go, Red... This time she earns a pass... [scoff, footsteps] The clown's all yours, babe... but if I ever hear you using the name Harley, I swear I'll find you and I'll tear those pigtails right off your head. Got me?!
- Hellequin: I can live with that. [giggle] Until next time? [sauntering footsteps]
- Harley Quinn: [loudly:] Oh and you can tell the Joker I'm keeping the hyenas! You hear me?!
Trivia and Notes
- Harley keeps two hyenas as pets. Their names are Bud and Lou.