Oracle Files: Catherine Cobert



VOX Archive

  • Steve Trevor: So in closing, I'd like to say that the Joker was captured and is being returned to Arkham and that no one, other than the maniac clown, was injured. Now, since you guys are the press, I'm sure you have questions. [chuckle] So, for that, I'm going to chicken out and turn you over to my mildly less attractive comrade, Miss Catherine Cobert, the Justice League spokeswoman. Take it easy on her, she just got back from a taxing business trip in the Caymans. [laughter]
  • Catherine Cobert: [footsteps, mic feedback] Ha, ha... Thank you for that introduction, Commander Trevor. He thinks he's so funny, doesn't he? Alright, well... shall we move on to questions? [overlapping voices, finger tapping on microphone] Ahem. Let's go one at the time as is the civilized way. No? Let's begin with you, Mr. Ryder.
  • Jack Ryder: Yes. Thank you, Miss Cobert. Now, what does the Justice League have to say about the vast amounts of property damage caused by the apprehension of Joker?
  • Catherine Cobert: I am sorry, "vast amounts"? I cannot comment on that as I have not seen any damage estimates. Je vouis demanda pardon. Miss Fairchild?
  • Vesper Fairchild: After this latest escape from Arkham Asylum, is ARGUS planning on upgrading the security at Arkham Asylum?
  • Catherine Cobert: ARGUS is always committed to utilizing the latest security measures as they become available. Next question, Mr. Kent?
  • Clark Kent: Yes, Miss Co-
  • Jack Ryder: Actually, I am not satisfied with your answer, Miss Cobert. You say you haven't seen a damage estimate? Have you seen pictures?
  • Catherine Cobert: Mr. Ryder, please... if you wish to return to your line of questioning, please wait you turn. Do not interrupt the gentleman from the Daily Planet.
  • Jack Ryder: [chuckle] You expect me to maintain a level of decorum when you so casually ignore our questions? No. I think not. Have you seen pictures? Actually, you know what... I have a smartphone here. I've got the internet. Give me five seconds and I'll show you the considerable damage your precious League caused to Edge Ci-
  • Catherine Cobert: That is not necessary, Mr. Ryder. Now, please, wait your turn... I promise I will come back to your question. Now, please... Mr. Kent, my apologies. You were say-
  • Jack Ryder: Here it is! Right in my hand! See this! That used to look like this... A beautiful inner city park... and now? It looks like a wasteland. Care to comment?
  • Catherine Cobert: Mr. Ryder, please... [sigh]
  • Clark Kent: If I may, that's not one of those LuthorTech Element 7 phones, is it?
  • Jack Ryder: Yeah, what of it? Go buy your own... or better yet, go write another Justice League fluff piece, Kent. Now, Miss Cobert. who will be paying for this... Ow! [screams, foot stomping, circuits and plastic being stomped and crushed]
  • Clark Kent: All I was going to say is those phones are known to spontaneously combust. [chuckle]

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