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ObMod The Green Eyed Monster

ObMod: The Green Eyed Monster

Characters

Location

  • Watchtower, Earth's Orbit
  • February 10th 2017, 0427 Local Time

VOX Archive

  • Jessica Cruz: So...
  • Simon Baz: So?
  • Jessica Cruz: Any plans for Wednesday?
  • Simon Baz: What's Wednesday?
  • Jessica Cruz: Seriously?
  • Simon Baz: I swear if you chime in "It's a day in the middle of every week" I may have to hit you with a squeaky hammer construct.
  • Jessica Cruz: [scoff] It's Valentine's Day...
  • Simon Baz: Oh... Oh yeah... Huh, how about that?
  • Jessica Cruz: So? Plans?
  • Simon Baz: Not yet. No.
  • Jessica Cruz: Not yet? Oh, so you're going to make some plans?
  • Simon Baz: Yeah, probably. That day sucks to be alone. Yeah... If John doesn't make plans for me and nothing else comes up, I'll probably figure out something.
  • Jessica Cruz: Would this 'something' involve a special woman in your life?
  • Simon Baz: [chuckle] Yeah... but I don't know if I'd call her special.
  • Jessica Cruz: [scoff] Why not?
  • Simon Baz: Well, let me rephrase... I'm sure she's special in her own way... I just don't know what way that is. I probably haven't even met her yet.
  • Jessica Cruz: [scoff] Your plan is to spend Valentine's Day with someone and you don't even know who she is?! How... How does that work, Simon?
  • Simon Baz: I'll just find a date on Caper. That seems to work pretty well. And... I don't know. Maybe I'll hook up with Night Pilot again. We had fun last week...
  • Jessica Cruz: Whoa, whoa... Back the trolley up there, Casanova. What the hell is Caper?
  • Simon Baz: You know? Caper? The program that Ted made a couple years back?
  • Jessica Cruz: Nope... Maybe it was before my time?
  • Simon Baz: Wow... Okay... Huh, well... It's a dating app, exclusively for us costumed crimefighting sorts. You post your name, city, interests, and power set. Then you follow it up with your best press shots and hottest selfies. No real names allowed on the site... unless, that's your thing. The idea is that it's easier to date amongst other heroes who can understand the lifestyle, rather than having to go through that whole civilian/crimefighter romance, which is always doomed, y'know?
  • Jessica Cruz: Uh... Aren't both Superman and Flash married to civilians? Going on twenty years now?
  • Simon Baz: [sigh] There are exceptions... Sure... but you know what I mean. The biggest appeal, though, was that Ted wrote an incredible security algorithm with Oracle. No I.P. address. No location tags. Kyle even ran a scan of it with his ring. No vulnerabilities were detected. It's legit. I've known about it for a while, never really had the need to use it until a couple months ago... It works really well.
  • Jessica Cruz: How have I not heard about this, Baz? You've been holding out on me!
  • Simon Baz: Wait, you're interested? I thought you weren't into the whole dating scene? Something about wanting to play with yourself?
  • Jessica Cruz: Focus! Focus on myself! [sigh, clatter] And yes I am on break, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be included... [screentap]
  • Simon Baz: What are you doing?
  • Jessica Cruz: I'm signing up right now... [screentap] Hmm... I wonder... [screentap] Is Nightwing on this? [screentap]
  • Simon Baz: Nightwing? You're into Nightwing?
  • Jessica Cruz: Oh yeah... [screentap, giggle] He makes all us sweaty in our super-tights... [screentap]
  • Mr. Terrific: [beep, beep] [broadcast:] Any available responders please report to the monitor station.
  • Simon Baz: That's us... Let's go. [clatter, clatter, clamber: 2 instances, footsteps: 2 instances, beep, elevator door opens, footsteps: 2 instances]
  • Jessica Cruz: Hmm... [screentap, sigh] 'Green Lantern' is taken. [screentap, scoff] Okay then... 'Princess Pancake' it is.
  • Simon Baz: I think Hal took Green Lantern... and I thought Kyle was Sexy Green Lantern. [elevator thrumming]
  • Jessica Cruz: [screentap, sigh] Sign up for 'mega-match' for only $9.99 a month and let a computer choose my soul-mate? [screentap] Hells yes!
  • Simon Baz: [beep, elevator door opens, footsteps: 2 instances, door opens] Hey, Terrific, whatcha got for us?
  • Mr. Terrific: Oh, great... Two Lanterns. That'll work. [holotap, beep, holotap, beep] I lost contact with Aquawoman. She was working in Oolong. Care to check that out for me?
  • Simon Baz: Sure... We got this. Come on, Pancake Princess. [chuckle, footsteps: 2 instances, door closes]
  • Jessica Cruz: Am I interested in men, women, or both? Hmm... [screentap, footsteps: 2 instances, elevator door opens, footsteps: 2 instances]
  • Simon Baz: What did you push?
  • Jessica Cruz: That's personal, Simon... [beep, elevator door opens, footsteps, screentap] Ooh, now I get to craft a dating profile. Swiping time! [giggle] Red Hood? [left swipe] Blue Beetle? [right swipe] Booster Gold? [left swipe] Freight Train? [right swipe]
  • Simon Baz: Stasis field, air lock is opening. [beep, Green Lantern thrums: 2 instances, airlock opens] So... It sounds like you picked 'men', Jess.
  • Jessica Cruz: Eavesdropping much? [whoosh]
  • Simon Baz: I... I thought you were talking to me... [beep, whoosh, airlock closes]
  • Jessica Cruz: [sigh] Here... There you go... See? The mystery is solved.
  • Simon Baz: Huh... Neat... You swiping left or right on Blue Devil?
  • Jessica Cruz: [sigh] Uh... Left. [left swipe] I find women attractive, but... I don't think I'd be interested in a relationship with one... not yet anyway.
  • Simon Baz: Hey, I don't judge.
  • Jessica Cruz: Night Pilot? Wait... Didn't you say you hooked up with her?
  • Simon Baz: Yeah... I did... What about her?
  • Jessica Cruz: I'm looking at her profile... Age: 26, Powers: Flight, invulnerability, magic helmet. Quote: "I'm a traveler of the world and the heavens"? Oh... and she's Muslim according to this. Is that why you swiped right?
  • Simon Baz: [sigh] Honestly? I didn't notice that at first. She popped up as a 'sexy suggestion'. I'm sure that was a factor.
  • Jessica Cruz: So you only really looked at her profile picture I take it? [giggle] Oh, right... We're not judging. I forgot. Well, she's cute. A little pretentious, maybe... but cute. [swipe left] So, what happened? You went on a few dates and she gave you your walking papers?
  • Simon Baz: [sigh] I took her home and we spent the night. That's it...
  • Jessica Cruz: Did she not like your family or something?
  • Simon Baz: Well, technically... It was John's place. I've been... crashing there whenever John's out of planet.
  • Jessica Cruz: Oh... I didn't know it was that rough on you. You can crash at my place in Opal City. We have a spare room in the basement...
  • Simon Baz: I couldn't do that to you... I'm a horrible roommate...
  • Jessica Cruz: Suit yourself... So what happened? You hit it and quit it or was that more of her style?
  • Simon Baz: [sigh] In the end, it came down to the fact that I'm basically a jobless loser, squatting in the apartment of my boss from my nonpaying side job. [sigh] She said she had a lovely time, but she was going back to sea to find a better fish. You know? Brace for atmosphere!
  • [atmospheric turbulence: 2 instances, Green Lantern thrums: 2 instances, elapsed time: 13 seconds]
  • Jessica Cruz: [air noise] Well she sounds like a judgmental gold-digger if you ask me. Unless she looks like Mari McCabe's hotter sister under that magic helmet and smells like pumpkin pie, you can definitely do better than her, Simon. [beep] Hmm? [screentap]
  • Simon Baz: No... She was funny. Kind of weird, but quirky. Confident. Optimistic. I liked her. Something going on with your phone, Jess?
  • Jessica Cruz: Oh, nothing... I just got my recommended match. [screentap] Come on, Nightwing! Gimme that Nightwing! I mean, I'd also settle for Black Lightning or- Wait... No he's married, isn't he? Maybe, Obsidian then? Oh, come on... Why does this take so- [silence: 3.4 seconds]
  • Simon Baz: Well? Who did you get?
  • Jessica Cruz: Nothing... No one...
  • Simon Baz: Oh, come on, Jess! You can tell me! Who is it? Was it Guy Gardner? It was, wasn't it?! [chuckle] Oh, man. It's Gardner, isn't it? [stifled laughter]
  • Jessica Cruz: [sigh] God, no... It was... It was... uh... Mr. Terrific.
  • Simon Baz: [silence: 2.7 seconds] Really? Terrific? We just saw him... I didn't see any chemistry between you two.
  • Jessica Cruz: [nervous chuckle] You're right... I think he's gay...
  • Simon Baz: [scoff, chuckle] And Caper picked him? Oh... Wow... That's strange.
  • Jessica Cruz: [nervous chuckle] Yeah... Real strange, huh?
  • Mr. Terrific: [beep] Simon? Jessica? I've sent Mera's last known coordinates to your rings. Let me know when you arrive.
  • Simon Baz: Roger that, T. I'll have Jessica drop you a line when we touch down. She's looking forward to speaking with you. [stifled laughter]
  • Mr. Terrific: Uh... Okay? I look forward to her... report? Terrific signing off. [beep]
  • Jessica Cruz: [groan] Sometimes I really wish we weren't partners... 

Trivia and Notes

  • This ObMod was inspired by a conversation from the pages of Green Lanterns #40.
  • In the comic, the match Jessica got was Simon himself.
  • Mr. Terrific being gay is a reference to his interpretation in Arrow.

Links and References

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